Superman’s Night in the Museum
The Joker turns away from the colossal statue of Hermes as the two young burly guards drag Superman on his backside atop his cape back into the main gallery. The guards release Superman’s arms and the unconscious Man of Steel slumps backwards onto the polished marble floor before the towering statue of the messenger of the gods: Hermes.
The Joker rubs his gloved hands together as he moves to stand over Superman. The guards grin and move off a distance away from Superman to watch events unfold. The prankster looks down at the unconscious god he has again pulled down from Mount Olympus. “Hermes message to you is ‘leave Earth Superman!’ This is your last warning!”
His forewarning delivered the clown surveys the big man slumbering atop his crimson cape with his inert muscled arms extended over his head and legs with big red boots spread wide apart. “If metropolis could see their mighty champion now,” gloats the Joker as he kicks one of Superman’s big red boots while looking with utter distain at the Man of Steel’s red and yellow family crest displayed on his powerful chest.
The Joker looks insane as pulls a tiny vial from his inside coat pocket. He grins wildly as he displays a small glass tube with a tiny cork stopper to the guards; within the small vial is a clear liquid mixed with tiny green glowing particles. “Call the constable. Tell him you have captured an intruder dressed in a Halloween costume…a Superman costume,” orders the clown as he shakes the tiny val kneeling down next to Superman.
“Call it in Neil,” says Ryan as he watches with interest. As Neil dashes away to make the call the Joker pulls the stopper from the glass vial and discards it. Ryan watches with his hand on the handle of his nightstick and the other clenching the kryptonite as the Joker pinches Superman’s nostrils together. Superman instinctively opens his mouth and the Joker gleefully pours the contents of the vial into his open mouth. Superman subconsciously reacts stirring on the floor and then coughs as he is forced to swallow the liquid.
The Man of Steel instinctively rubs his spandex sleeve over his mouth after the Joker releases Superman’s nose. As Superman’s arm falls back to the floor the Joker stand up tossing the small vial to the floor. The little vile shatters and the Joker shouts, “The kryptonite potion will keep Superman….ordinary for….oh…who knows how long really. The potion has leveled the playing field! Superman will have to contend with the dregs of mortality on an equal basis without his superpowers. I imagine Superman will meet some interesting people at the local constable’s office this morning! My work is done. Make sure the constable arrests this imposter for breaking and entering…” The Joker trails off as he sprints spryly over to a large glass floor vase, as tall as he, with intricate ornate designs. The Joker considers the vase that was brought out its display case for cleaning. Suddenly he pushes it over and then shouts excitedly, “Ops!” The huge ancient glass vase titters momentarily and then tips over smashing into large pieces when it hits the marble floor. “….and the destruction of museum property,” continues the clown as he dances a lively jig around the broken pieces.
Superman suddenly stirs on the floor. Awakened by the crashing glass he moans and rolls stiffly over onto his six pack abs covering himself in his crimson cape. The Joker dashes over to Ryan and relieves the guard of the kryptonite before disappearing back into the museum’s mineralogy section. Seconds later the clown reappears with the rest of the kryptonite cradled in his long lanky arms. The twisted clown shouts excitedly, “The constable is here to arrest Superman!” Bright red flashing lights from twin police cruisers appear before the exterior glass doors of the museum. The red flashes of bright light illuminate the main gallery as Ryan watches two black and white police vehicles slow and stop in the wide boulevard before the museum. Two middle aged officers exit each vehicle and mount the wide stone steps leading to museum’s entrance and approach the doors to the main gallery. Ryan looks back towards the Mineralogy section and the Joker has vanished! The guard scans the gallery and the prankster is no where to be found.
With the Joker gone Ryan turns his attention back towards the fallen Man of Steel. Superman has taken a pushup position; he tries futilely to raise his red and yellow “S” letter from the floor in order to slide his legs under his chest. His strength fails and he collapses falling weakly back to floor with a dull thud. Ryan grins wickedly as the once mighty Superman, his powerful body draped in his crimson cape, makes several move failed attempts to stand up.
Meanwhile Neil has returned and has dashed to the glass doors to let the police officers into the museum. Two hatless police officers dressed in black police garb, with gold badges pinned to their chests and holstered guns and nightsticks enter the dim museum. Neil trails behind explaining excitedly how the morning’s events have transpired. As the trio reaches Ryan one police officer takes a pair of heavy handcuffs from their holster on his black gun belt. The other officer offers introductions, “I’m Officer Muldoon…this is Officer O’Neil. What have we here,” asks Muldoon in an Irish accent?”
Ryan explains as Officer O’Neil kneels down next to Superman, He easily pulls Superman’s big muscled arms away from his head, one by one, together behind his back atop his red cape, “This lunatic broke in dressed as Superman; he smashed that priceless vase over there before we could subdue him. We called you guys right away.”
“Is the lad drunk do you think,” asks Muldoon?
“Maybe…but he’s loony for sure. I know its Halloween…he’s a big boy and all…but he ain’t no Superman,” chuckles Ryan as O’Neil locks the heavy-duty bracelets around each of Superman’s thick wrists.
By now Superman has regained most of his faculties. Superman’s spandex legs and the sides of his big boots slide on the smooth marble as he twists and struggles on his six pack abs trying to free his restrained arms. But the liquid kryptonite he ingested keeps Superman weak. The heavy steel cuffs hold fast; Superman cranes his head upwards and shouts excitedly, “Officers…I’m Superman….”
Muldoon shouts, “Quiet down son. You are in enough of a fix!”
“But you have to believe me….the Joker exposed me to kryptonite…,” explains Superman as he groans and rolls over onto his broad back on top of his cuffed arms.
Muldoon upholsters his nightstick and kneels down; he taps the club lightly on the big red and yellow “S” displayed on his big chest to get the man’s full attention. “The Joker you say…and…kryptonite too; never heard of either. If your Superman you should be able to snap those handcuffs like a pretzel.”
Superman sighs and swallows hard knowing he cannot break steel again until the effects of the potion the Joker poured down his throat wears off!
“I thought so; what’s your name son,” asks Muldoon?
Superman looks up exasperated. “I told you…I’m Superman…the Joker set a trap to capture me again…the guards are in on it too,” explains a frustrated Man of Steel.
“That’s preposterous,” complains Ryan vigorously.
Muldoon waves off Ryan, “Of course a trap; and this Joker has caught you before…and this time the guards are in cahoots with this…Joker. Well son, I will say you are wearing a very convincing costume…and you have the face and proper build to wear the suit. But I’ll wager you got a little carried away this Halloween. You’ve either snorted too much coke or tipped too many whiskeys at the pub last evening.” He grins looking up at O’Neil and the guards, “Halloween…it brings all the freaks out…every year it gets worse!”
“Come along son…you are going to visit the local police precinct, “orders Muldoon as he and O’Neil each grab one of Superman’s big muscled arms encased in spandex? The pair groans as they hoist the big man up off the floor onto his big red boots. Muldoon waves his club in front of Superman’s handsome face, “I don’t want any more shenanigans out of you lad…now come along peacefully. Oh, by the way, do you have any ID on you lad?” Muldoon uses his nightstick to move Superman’s cape aside momentarily hoping to find a back pocket on his tight red briefs containing a wallet.