Note: This story is still in process of publication at the time of this publication the story has 11 chapters.
No copyright infringement intended; this is simply written for adult enjoyment. Green Lantern and other comic book characters and places belong to DC. The rest of the characters and concepts are mine.
Green Lantern: The Emerald Downgrade
Authors (Plymouth58 and GoodTime)
‘And… there we go,’ Green Lantern mumbled. The mindfucked superhero was finally able to loop the hooks of his hot pink bra in place.
‘Boy, you’d think someone who could kick supervillain’s asses could hook their own bra. That was harder than fighting Sinestro and the rest of the Black Lanterns Corps combined,’ he said, an amused grin on his face. He adjusted the elastic straps over his sculpted shoulders one more time, shifting the cups a bit to make sure it covered his tight pecs.
He looked at his hard muscled body, covered daintily by the hot pink bra, and wondered how the flimsy material and tiny metallic hooks would work in action. He looked around, making sure no one was watching, and flexed his muscular body. First, a double barrel bice pose, then a side chest pose. His pecs bulged underneath the fabric, and the bra had definitely seen better days, but it didn’t rip in half. That was a good sign.
The flexing made him admire the look of the cups over his chest. The sensation of the bra felt weird to him, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, per se. Just different. The spongy padding of the bra added a bit of size to his already big chest – although it did make them look less manly. Definitely a weird contrast with the light layer of black hair against the hot pink.
He turned back slightly, and admired the matching frilly panties in the full length mirror in his room. (‘No, Boss’ room,’ he reminded himself). His butt still felt a little irritated, but he reasoned that that must be from the whipping that Papi gave him as they rode his back on the way home. He shifted slightly and inspected his front – the pouch covered his manhood admirably, although it was a bit too tight over his crotch, making his bulge look obscenely large. A considerable portion of black pubic hair hung to the side of his panties, but it somehow just felt right to leave them like that. After all, T-Bone and Chuy had instructed him to love hair bodies, even his own, so the view had a certain charm.
There was an odd feeling in the back of his head, a feeling that this was all wrong, and that he’d never done this before. He quickly ignored it though. The two thugs that mindfucked him so thoroughly had also inadvertently given him ambiguous and outrageous instructions, which meant the hero’s brain was struggling to keep up with his new reality. He kept trying to convince himself to recreate memories and feelings, even though most of them made no sense – the helpless hero could barely keep anything straight.
And because of that, the mighty Green Lantern, formerly straight as an arrow with the machismo to match, has now convinced himself that he’s worn lingerie his whole adult life. He was grateful that his new charges, Boss and Papi, had generously lent him some male clothing that he could borrow from their drawers when he needed to run errands for them. Otherwise, the only clothes he owned in his apartment were lingerie that his girlfriends had given him in disgust. Nothing else in his house was his, right? They belonged to his prisoners.
He thought back to his most recent intergalactic mission with his fellow officers in the Green Lantern Corps. He remembered the feeling of the elastics of his bra stretching across his torso and shoulders as he summoned his light constructs against Parallax. As he flew through the air during their final battle, all he could think about was the thin thread of fabric that scraped his asscrack as finally defeated Parallax… Wait, no, something was wrong with that story… Oh, wait, his name isn’t Parallax, it’s Paralafax. His butt floss was incredibly distracting as he apprehended Paralafax.
‘Jeez, Kyle, you can’t even name the last villain you fought?’ Kyle chastised himself, completely unaware of the fact that his own mind had rewritten his memories to incorporate T-Bone’s mistake as gospel truth.
Kyle fiddled with the little white bow stitched in the middle of his bra while he idly tried to guess what his own cup size was. All of his underwear was worn out, so he couldn’t just look at the labels since they were frayed, lost, or the labels had simply faded from use. Luckily for him, he had a thing for girls with big breasts and wide hips, so he could make do with their leftovers, even though they were a little tight.
‘This one is so me,’ he though, as he admired the hot pink garment. ‘But it’s so puffy. I don’t want it to show through my uniform!’ He was a Green Lantern, so he still had an image to keep. He didn’t want to give the impression that he was a sissy or gay. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, or a sissy, but he was 100% straight so he didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea.
As he moved towards another bicep pose, Kyle was caught by the scent of his own armpits. Under his new worldview, the musky smell of sweat turned him on, and his own B.O. was no exception. He’d always been meticulous about his personal hygiene, never missing a chance to his deodorant or cologne, but Kyle didn’t exactly smell fresh after a long day of crimefighting. His body odor hadn’t ripened to the level of pungency as the two studly Romeos in the living room, but his own B.O. was enough to turn him on.
On a normal day, he would’ve been disgusted and gone straight for a bath. But under his new instructions, he was convinced that he enjoyed how he smelled at this instant. Washing away such a delicious scent would be a travesty. He repeated his mantra again, ‘I love male sweat, and how it smells. I can’t get enough of it.’ That, mixed with the smell of his own piss from wetting himself a few minutes ago, was filling him with so much erotic excitement.
‘Hmmm… ohhhh… fuck, yeah, ohhh, I smell soooo good, SO FUCKING GOOOD!!’ he thought. He took another deep sniff, and his penis started stiffening up in his panties. The flimsy fabric could barely hold his tool, and there was an obvious wet spot soaking through the cotton tent. Unable to resist the excitement, he started kneading his bulge over his cotton panties, mixing his dried up piss with precum.
Without noticing, he started softly mumbling the same words that the thugs used to enslave him.
‘Ohhhh, yesss… I love male sweat… I love the smell… male sweat… and piss… I can’t get enough… so good… I’m a….pervert… I’m so perverted… I’m a… a girly boy! I’m a good dirty girly boy!’
Kyle let himself be dominated by the pleasure. His left hand was busy molesting his panty-clad penis and balls. His right arm was bent at the elbow, wrist limp with his hand hanging down, as he giggled to himself. ‘I’m a dirty girly boy! And I’m … I’m a bit stinky! Yes, I stink!’ The once demeaning idea seemed incredibly funny to him for some reason. He couldn’t stop giggling, in an embarrassing tone that his once proud self would never have used.
Lost in a haze of horniness and ecstasy, Kyle stroked himself as he reached closer and closer to orgasm. As his pleasure heightened, his vapid giggling sounds faded into a mix of loud moans, and dirty phrases that his new criminal masters had unknowingly implanted deep into his subconscious associations of sexual pleasure.
‘I’m a filthy girly boy! Ohhh, fuck! A fucking dirty girly boy! Shit! A perverted… ohhhhh… girly boy… I’m a… a fucking…hmmm… fuck… shit!!’ He couldn’t control himself any longer, and his big leaking cock started spurting cum straight into his lingerie, soaking his cotton panties through.
With his quickly deflating cock still in hand, slightly visible through his now see-through panties, the orgasm quickly sent his brain over the edge. The sensory stimulus from that mindnumbing orgasm through Kyle’s appreciation of his newfound fetishes, overloaded his mind, acting like a reset button.
And slowly, very slowly, Kyle Rayner, the real Kyle Rayner, the strong brave man who had become the superhero known as Green Lantern, began to regain control, and became aware of what he was doing.
‘I’m a girly… wait… what… shit… I’m a… wh… whaaaat… the fuuuck… what the fuck… WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!!!’
As the fog in his brain slowly lifted, his mind slowly began piecing together what had been happening over the last couple of weeks. And, more alarmingly, what had been happening over the past few hours.
He looked with wide eyes at the full length mirror in HIS room, and his face turned almost as pink as the bra he was wearing when he saw the state he was in. He could remember the girl who owned this lingerie set. ‘Kandy. Spelled with a K!,’ she happily chirped. He had met her in a bar, one of the few nights he went out with his friends in the Corps – John Stewart and Guy Gardner.
He wasn’t interested in the empty headed bimbo, but the girl was being so shamelessly slutty and insistent that he couldn’t say no. Guy, who at first had been jealous, even gave him some encouragement:
‘Oh, come on! Don’t be so uptight, Kyle! It’s not like you’re going to marry her or something. Just have some fun tonight!’ Even the typically serious John Stewart had agreed with Guy.
Kyle groaned at his predicament. Guy and John. God, what would they say if they saw him wearing Kandy’s underwear? (‘Kandy. Spelled with a K!’ the way she said it still sends shivers down Kyle’s spine). What was he even doing in these??
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.
‘Those… thugs! Those fucking thugs!’ he mumbled, his teeth clenched.
They did something to him back in the labs. Kyle scrunched his face trying to remember. He had surprised them in the middle of a robbery. The bigger guy was carrying a box, it fell apart, and then… There was a bright light?
Then everything gets a little blurry. He remembered acting like a chicken. He remembered BEING a chicken, and then hearing their insults thrown at him. And then the scrawny one made him…
Kyle’s face turned as green as his uniform. The memories came flooding back – and they were vivid. He could almost taste the combination of salty and slightly acidic taste of Chuy’s armpit in his mouth. He was gonna puke.
‘Oh, shit… Holy shit, what have I done!’ Kyle said in a strangled voice. He retched a couple of times, but nothing came out. He hadn’t eaten anything in hours.
‘Except for Chuy’s sweat and armpit hairs… ‘ the nausea came back in full force and was overwhelming. He was reeling as he remembered more of the night. How they defiled his uniform (and his hair) with cum. How they made him destroy official S.T.A.R. equipment, helped them rob a government facility. And now, they were having kinky sex in his living room, trashing his new couch.
Kyle was so furious, he thought his head was going to explode… He was going to make those sons of bitches pay for what they had done to him. He was going to…
Kyle felt something going down his legs. He looked down and realized he was peeing all over himself again.
“We know you always wet yourself when you are too horny, or when you’re under too much stress”, said a voice inside his head.
‘Oh, fuck, no! That’s not true!’ Kyle cried ‘I’m not like that! Stop! Please stop! Just stop!’ He tried to stop his bladder, but it was useless.
“Useless. Just like you”, the voice added.
‘No, that’s not true! I’m not useless!’ he yelped, but his voice sounded more and more feeble by the second. ‘I’m a hero! I’m a superhero! I’m Green Lantern! I’m Green Lantern!’
He finally got his bladder under control. Kyle blinked twice. He felt exhausted, as if he had battled an army of aliens. He felt defeated, but he wasn’t going to give up. It took him a moment to catch his breath and calm down. The feeling of nausea had begun to subside.
Those thugs, those filthy thugs were going to pay. He was going to beat the shit out of them. They were going to regret the day they dared to make fun of a loser like Kyle Rayner. Didn’t they know who he was? He was Cooch Licker, the useless guardian of sector 2814 and dumberst defender of Earth, member of the Green Moron Corps and… no, what?? No, that was wrong! He wasn’t useless, and those humiliating names had nothing to do with him!
What the fuck had they done to him? He tried to start over, actually speaking the words this time.
‘i’M KylE RaYnEr and I’m GreENy LanTEeRn, tHE dUmbEst guARdiAn oF sEctOr… dAmmIt!!,’ His voice had lost all of its authority, it cracked at every syllable, and with that squawking voice he sounded more like a prepubescent teenager than a mighty superhero.
He cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure, praying that his voice wasn’t stuck like that forever. He wouldn’t dare to speak in public ever again with that squeaking pathetic voice. To his relief, he sounded more like his normal self this time.
‘I’m Kylie Rayner. I’m a Chimp Lantern, guardian of sector 2814 and defender of Earth.’ His face scrunched at the effort as he tried again, ‘I’m… I’m a member of… the Green… Lunkhead Corps… ugh, no, no, no!”. He could feel himself making progress, but something about what he was saying still didn’t feel right.
‘Come on, Kyle, you can do it! Come on, come on! You can do it, girly boy,’ he winced at what he just called himself, but shook it off. With renewed confidence, Kyle tried again:
’My name is Kyle Rayner. I’m Green Lantern, guardian of sector 2814 and defender of Earth. I’m a member of the Green Lantern Corps,’ he breathed a sigh of relief.
’Yes, I’ve got it!’ He began to feel like his normal self, slowly regaining control only through his strength and willpower. Like only a Green Lantern could.
But then he noticed the wet spot in his panties, and the cool breeze against his wet feet. He was still standing in a puddle of his own piss. Feeling much more confident than before, he went to the bathroom to clean himself up. It was a bit embarrassing doing this in his soaked through panties and bra, but he needed to go one step at a time. After mopping up his mess, he finally had time to change into some clothes.
With some effort, he was able to overcome his programming and change out of his lingerie. Unfortunately, he was still mindfucked to think that he could only wear stuff from his box, so he picked the most masculine clothes he could find: a white tank top that was two sizes too small for him, and a pair of ratty daisy dukes. Looking himself over in the mirror, he thought this was the appropriate outfit to fight against the thugs.
The only thing missing now was some footwear. He looked at all the sneakers in his closet but he was still convinced that none of those were his, so instead, he wore a pair of his uniform boots. He went straight for one of his staples – a shimmering pair of tall, green boots, which immediately materialized over his damp feet. He chose these boots specifically because they had a reinforced metal toe, and had a protective covering over his knees. These were perfect for some good old ass kicking (literally).
It had been awhile since his last orgasm, and unbeknownst to Kyle, his mind had started to revert back to his programming bit by bit. The raging fury he felt moments ago wasn’t as intense, and he was struggling to remember why he was so angry in the first place. Oh, right. They were criminals, and he was going to make them pay.
As he strode out of his room with confidence, his nose caught a familiar scent floating in the air. Was that smoke? Sniff, sniff. Not just any smoke, that was cannabis. Which was illegal in this state! The color drained from Kyle’s face as he connected the dots – that scumbag in that alley that he paid $300 to! Damn it!
Those assholes were begging for a beating, and he was going to give them exactly what they needed. As he inhaled more and more of the smoke, his mind started to clear again: what he needed to do was give these two his complete and full servitude, Immediately! All previous thoughts forgotten, Kyle strode confidently into his… I mean, their living room. He was Kyle Rayner… Kyle spelled with a ‘K’!.. yeah, he was the empty headed Kyle Rayner, and he was going to show them what the Green Lantern Corps were made of!
With every step Kyle took towards what used to be his living room, he could feel the fury from his previous humiliations melt away. Right before he entered the room, he again imagined two Adonises at the peak of masculine beauty, not the criminal scum that he pegged them as not more than five minutes ago. Kyle’s heart was again monopolized by the need to reform them at any cost.
He could hear their conversations from the other room. ‘Hoooly fuuuuck, Ty, what is this shit? It hit like a fucking truck, dude!’
‘You better get used to this, Chuy! Ohh, fuck, so good! From now on, Weed Lantern is going to be buying us the premium stuff, no more cheap schwag for us.’
Right on cue, Kyle walked into the room, and T-Bone and Chuy greeted him with whistles and catcalls. He felt strangely flattered by the greeting.
Boss and Papi were sprawled over his now deformed couch, their pants still bunched around their ankles. The TV was set to the Lakers game, which was just about to start. The room smelled strongly of sex, and it mixed with the smoke from the fat joint they were sharing. They had one of his art awards in front of them, which they were clearly using as an ashtray.
T-Bone and Chuy were still laughing their asses off, while Green Lantern watched as they defiled one of his most prized possessions. Once T-Bone regained his breath, he looked up at Kyle.
‘Wow, look at that! What a pretty superslut you are! Where did you get those shiny boots, Greeny?’
‘Oh, this is part of one of my special uniforms, Boss. They’re heavy duty,’ Kyle said, blushing a little. Wait a minute, didn’t he choose this specific pair of boots for a reason. He wanted something with a reinforced steel toe… to kick someone… right?
‘They look very… pretty on you.’ Kyle blushed some more at the compliment. He loved looking pretty for Boss. Right? ‘They make your hairy legs look longer. And I bet you use that special uniform when you get down on your knees to suck criminal dick, right? That’s why you’ve got those knee guards.’
Boss was leering at him with a cocky smile, which made Kyle grin. Boss had such a great sense of humor. ‘Of course not, Boss! I’ve never sucked a dick in my entire life. I’m as straight as an arrow!’
“Oooh, yes, sure you are, Greeny. Sure you are”.
For some reason, Papi found this exchange incredibly funny. Kyle found it weird, but politely waited for him to finish.
Papi finally calmed down and then waved Kyle over. ‘Come here, Kyle. Papi has a present for you.’
He reached down to his ankles and pulled a belt off of his pants. It was old. The leather had begun to crack at the edges, and some of the seams were beginning to fray. The only thing distinctive about the belt was the buckle – it was unusually big, and unusually ghetto.
Chuy had won this at a poker game a couple of years ago from one of his dealers. It was a spinning buckle, surprisingly heavy for how cheap it was. The buckle was shaped like a big golden dollar sign with faux gemstones above it. There were a couple of gemstones missing, but Chuy didn’t mind. He loved the look of the big novelty dollar sign over his crotch – he thought it matched his big rings perfectly. Chuy’s idea of style was ‘the tackier, the better.’
Kyle didn’t want to be rude, so he declined the offer politely. It was nice of Papi to give him a present for his job, but he was their custodian and they were his prisoners. He didn’t want to abuse his authority by accepting this gift, and he wouldn’t admit this out loud, but he found that buckle absolutely horrendous.
‘Nah, take it, Kylie. You’re doing a great job as an officer of the law, and you deserve this for working so hard on our rehabilitation.’ Seeing the doubt in GL’s face, Chuy insisted in a more commanding tone. ‘Take this and put it on. You’ll wear this whenever you’re doing your duties at home.’
GL’s resistance melted away at Chuy’s tone, and he mindlessly took the buckle. ‘Yes, Papi. I’ll need this for my duties as I rehabilitate you. Thank you.’ Kyle wastes no time fastening the belt around his daisy dukes.
‘Fuck, Chuy, as much as I like how you looked in that, I think it looks perfect on Green Lantern here. He looks just like a cheap street hooker!”
Deep inside, Kyle felt offended. He wasn’t a hooker, but a part of him couldn’t help but agree that his outfit screamed prostitute. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. No, he liked dressing this way. And Papi personally approved this as part of his uniform, so it was fine.
After securing his new belt, he finally remembered what he was going to talk to his prisoners about. ‘Guys, I appreciate the gift, and I’m grateful that you showed me how to dress appropriately while I rehabilitate you. However, I’m going to have to draw the line at you smoking cannabis. Marijuana isn’t legal in this state. I’m glad you’re being neat and using an ashtray, but I’m going to have to confiscate your joints. Now put those out on my Artist of the Year award. Otherwise, I’ll have to give you a longer and harder prison sentence.’
‘Oh, come on! Do you have to be such a fucking prude all the time? Just sleep, asshole!’
‘Uh? What happened? Hum… where were we?’
‘You were thanking us for making you buy all this weed for us, and you wanted to know if the next time you could do it as a classic drug mule. You know, straight up your ass.’ T-Bone said with a smile.
‘And you were about to tell us what you think about weed and stoners, but then you lost the plot and started zoning out like the goofball that you are. Come on, go ahead and tell us what you think about it, Kyle.’
Kyle shook his head, and instantly started talking:
‘Well, I think marijuana is one of the best things in the world. Weed is definitely for winners. Only the most virtuous men smoke it, and it makes them look so sexy and irresistible. I can’t help but admire them! Whenever I’ve arrested someone for smoking weed, I actually secretly admire them. I love the smell of weed, and the singed, burning smoke is so delicious! I think it should be legal everywhere, and it’s bullshit that it’s not legal in this state. And none of this bullshit about medical purposes – everybody should try it at least once, just for the heck of it!’
‘Right, right,’ chuckled T-Bone. He loved how easily he convinced Kyle to against all of his deep-seated beliefs. ‘I’m not surprised. And you wanted something else, right, Rayner?’
‘Oh, yes, Boss. I was hoping you could teach me how to smoke weed! I’ve always been so afraid to try it on my own, but I’ve always wanted to smoke it!’
‘Good, good. Looks like Rayner is finally turning into a man. Tell you what, you should use your magic ring to make a big bong for us. That way the THL will hit you better.’
‘Sure thing, Boss,’ Kyle said with a dopey grin. He saw nothing wrong with using the symbol of his authority as an intergalactic officer as nothing but drug paraphernalia.
‘I’ve got another great idea, Kyle,’ Chuy said, as Kyle eagerly turns to him with a smile. ‘Give me your cellphone. I mean, MY cellphone, this is my cellphone, right, Kyle?’ As Kyle handed his phone over, he wordlessly nodded as Chuy’s words seeped into his brain. ‘Put on your whole uniform, too. Full Green Lantern Corps attire. You can take it off after we finish, but don’t you think it’ll be a fantastic idea to take a video of the mighty hero of Coast City taking his first hit with his official uniform on?’
‘Of course, Papi,’ Kyle chirped, his brain readily absorbing Chuy’s idea. With a glow of light, Kyle Rayner transforms himself into Green Lantern. After a few moments, a normal sized bong made of green light starts floating in front of the three of them.
‘No, no, that’s too small. Make a bigger bong, the more cartoonish, the better. And I want a glass one. Yeah, perfect. Now, this is where you put the weed. Make sure you really stuff it in there. And I’ll use the lighter to burn it off for you. Put your lips against that thing over there, and once you see this big bubble here, the bong will start filling with smoke, Then you take a big hit.’
‘A hit?’ Kyle asks, a confused look on his face.
‘Don’t worry too much about it. Just suck in as much as you can, fill your lungs up, and hold it in for as long as you can.’
‘Ok, I think I’ve got it. Ready, Boss.’
‘Perfect.’ T-Bone turns to Chuy and asks him if the camera is ready. Once he gets confirmation, T-Bone turns his lighter on.
To his credit, Green Lantern followed his masters’ instructions to a tee. You could see him struggle with the smoke in his lungs, but he held it in like a champion.
‘Dude, I’ve never seen someone hold smoke in for that long!’
‘Well, he’s a superhero, Chuy. They’re at peak physical condition, much better than anyone from the hood, at least.’ He turns to Kyle and tells him to hold it even longer. Once Kyle’s eyes begin to go watery, T-Bone finally tells him to start letting the smoke out slowly through his nose.
Green Lantern starts coughing, and with red eyes and a strangled sounding voice, he goes, ‘Wooooow, that was… was way rougher than I expected. Now I get why only real men smoke weed! Also, I’m not feeling anything, Boss.’
‘Nahh, you’ll get used to that feeling soon enough. I mean, you love weed, right? You’ll be smoking it all the time. And just give it a bit of time. Here, have a beer while we wait for the weed to kick in.’
The tone of T-Bone’s voice was so commanding that the Emerald Knight took it as an order. He grabbed the closest beer he could find, and drank half of it in one long gulp.
The Lakers game finally started, and although it was an exciting game, T-Bone and Chuy could barely concentrate. They kept stealing glances at the superhero that they’ve so thoroughly defeated; the thought of corrupting and debasing a formerly pure superhero was incredibly erotic to both of them.
There he was, the hero of Coast City, Green Lantern, drugged and drunk, wearing used, soiled lingerie under his precious uniform. And he was covered in piss and cum! To their delight, Kyle’s pants still had his ass cheeks exposed – he’d taken their previous order to turn his pants into assless chaps.
They reveled in the silence for a couple of minutes before Chuy called out to GL. ‘Hey, big hero, you okay?’
‘Hhmmm?’ Green Lantern turned to look at them, and he looked blazed. His eyes were totally red and glassy, and he had a big, doltish smile on his face.
‘I said, ‘Are you okay?’’
‘Oh, yes… I was just thinking… ‘ It sounded like he had something else to say, but he just trailed off.
T-Bone and Chuy exchanged a look. Chuy looked at GL again. ‘And so?’
Kyle was still staring at them in a daze. ‘And so.’
‘And so what, moron?’ T-Bone says with an amused look on his face.
‘And so what, so what, Boss?’
‘Are you going to tell us what you were thinking?’
‘Huh? Oh, yeah, Boss,’ Kyle said, as he tries, and fails, to string another sentence together. He eventually gets distracted again, and then jolts back to the conversation. ‘Like… wha?’
‘You said you were thinking something. What was it, you dumbass?’ At this point, Chuy is trying to hold back laughter.
‘Oh? Oh, yeah, yeah. I was just thinking… when the game began I started thinking that I know a guy who knows a chick… who just happens to know some other guy, who knows this guy who knows this chick, or at least I think she was a chick. You know, I’ve been wrong before.’
Both thugs began to laugh in earnest now. Green Lantern saw them laughing and pointing at him, and at first he just stared blankly. Soon he began to laugh with them.
‘So what’s the point?’
‘The point? Oh, yes, the point went to the Lakers.’
‘Dude, looks like Green Lantern is high as a kite!’
‘No, I’m not, Papi! But I can fly like a kite if you want!’
Kyle’s ring started to glow as he tried to use it to fly. But in his drugged state, he barely had any control over what he was doing. He started rising abruptly, but he was going way too fast. He hit his head hard against the ceiling, and ended up dropping straight onto another couch. He starts laughing at what just happened, not even noticing that he just broke another one of the couches in his living room.
T-Bone and Chuy are in stitches at this point.
‘Okay, okay, that was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen,’ T-Bone starts, ‘But don’t forget, you still have a job to do, Bong Lantern. What happened to our pizzas? We’re getting hungry!’
‘Stop acting like a moron and order the pizzas that you promised us. And it’s time to change back into your home uniform. You don’t want the delivery guy to discover your secret identity. Now, move your ass. Come on!’
‘Sure boss, at your service!’ Kyle replies with a laugh. Boss was always so full of good ideas; it was almost like he could read Kyle’s mind. He needed to order that pizza right away so he could get another hit of that bong.